This sound funny, It has taken me 34 years but I have finally figured out how to realise if a girl likes me.

Yep, that’s what all these years of dating have taught me.

Well actually, let me revise that.

All these years of dating have taught me how to tell if a girl does or doesn’t like me.

You’d think that would be pretty easy to deduce a girl.

But since we’re all adults now and a lady can’t push you in the mud and say you smell like butts, figuring out how to tell if a girl likes you or hates you can be a little bit trickier than it used to be.

I might not be able to read your lady’s mind for you, but I can guarantee you that if she likes you there are seven things she’ll never ever say to you.

If a lady really likes you, she will never say these six (6) things:

1. “You’re too available.”

If a girl likes you, she’ll want to see you. If you suggest drinks one night a week and she gets irked that you’re encroaching on her time, she doesn’t actually want to be spending time with you. I asked my dating I’d been dating for almost three (3) months what our status was and her response was to tell me I was too available.

2. “It’s so funny how your friends think you’re smart.”

A girl who likes you also respects you and very submissive. A person who respects you is never going to issue ridiculous barbs like this one.

If a lady is threatened by your brains or your sense of humour to the extent that she’ll try and use them to “neg” you, she doesn’t like you, and you are so much better off.

3. “Do you have any hot friends you could set me up with?”

This is most girls talk for “I am in no way attracted to you romantically, but rather than saying that out loud to you I am going to ask you to set me up with a friend to make my lack of intentions towards you crystal clear.”

My Guy, don’t do it. If a girl you dig asks you this, roll your eyes and refuse to be his wingwoman.

4. “You’re like my little brother.”

Do you know who girls don’t want to have sex with? Their brother. I mean, unless they have deeply rooted flowers In The Attic-type trauma-based issues.

If that’s the case, maybe she does like you, but oh my god you need to not date her.

5. “Let’s Sis out!”

Do you know what sistoo does? They go to the movies together and leave a seat between them so no one thinks they’re gay. Yeah. That’s how not into you she is, my guy.

You don’t deserve a sis, you deserve a man.

6. “I wish I could meet a guy just like you.”

This is baffling, right? Because she’s saying you’re her dream guy in every possible way… except she doesn’t want you. That’s because you’re her friend. You mean a lot to her. And she’s not willing to risk that for some fun in the sack.

She might like you, but that’s all it is — like. Pump the breaks.